Happy 2013

Jan. 1st, 2013 12:06 pm
athra: ([HP] I have sex with commas)
I hope everyone had a great New Years Eve! And hopefully you aren't too hungover (::cough[livejournal.com profile] lonelyarchercough::) ;) We didn't do anything, just hung around home like the old married couple we act like.

I'm not a huge believer in thinking that the start of a new year can turn your life around and all that. You do that for yourself, not the passing of one year into another. However I have to say, I started out 2013 by waking up to some very good news, so if that is going to be an indication of how the year is going to go, I'm quite pleased with it. 2012 started out very badly and only got worse throughout the year, so having a good year in 2013 would be great for my sanity.

Though to be fair, I'm getting married this year, so no matter what else happens it will still be a good year! ♥

Anyway, new year things: I don't really like resolutions, but I do have a few goals for myself, mostly centered on improving myself, of course. But here's a short list:

1) I did really well through most of 2012 in the "get healthier" department. [livejournal.com profile] imthelobster and I have taught ourselves a lot about eating healthier and in better proportions and whatnot, without actually dieting, so that you don't just gain it all back later. I've lost something like 25 pounds, which is great-- but I need to lose about 30 more. With the holidays and stuff I stopped being good about using MyFitnessPal, and I stopped losing weight (though I didn't gain anything back, so that's good at least!) I have about 9 months to lose those 30 pounds in time for the wedding, which is more than reasonable; I really want to make this happen. So goal #1 is to start tracking my food and losing again, and start going on my walks again to help feel better and healthier, too.

2) Write. I joined [livejournal.com profile] getyourwordsout for the first time in years, at the lowest level of 150k words for the year. To be honest I don't believe I will reach 150k, though that would be nice. I don't have a specific word goal in mind for myself necessarily, I just want to be writing again, and I'm hoping the boost of being a part of this comm will help me do that. I have a couple things I started and never finished in 2012 that I'd really like to clean up and put to rest, and then I'd like to do some more original things again.

3) Crafting... just in general. Basically this one and writing tie in together. I am a pretty creative person, or I like to think so; but the last couple years have been somewhat rough and I've gone through a lot of depressive bouts, and I just kind of stopped using my creativity. Towards the end of 2012 I actually started doing crafty things again... scrapbooking and nail art and kitting, mostly, all of which I want to continue with, but I want to branch out into other things, too.

4) Be a better friend. I'm a pretty shitty one, and I know it, especially these last two years or so. I've lost a friendship or two because of it, which I regret a lot to be honest, and there's a few friendships I'm both surprised and grateful to still have. It's very circular -- I get depressed and hole myself up in my house and never do anything and don't talk to anyone much, and then I'm depressed because I never spend time with my friends and am home all the time. I really need to stop that pattern of behavior and start actually seeing my friends again; I miss you guys.

5) GET A DAMN JOB I CAN LIVE WITH. Pretty self-explanatory, really.


Honestly I think the last one is going to be the hardest, but I am out of excuses and reasons to be beating myself up and treating myself badly. The turning of a new year is just an arbitrary passing of time, I know this, but dammit I'll use it anyway, because I need to make myself a happier and better person from here on out.
athra: ([HIMYM] you're an idiot)
Just a few, quick things:

1) Being sick sucks. Being sick and having and having to go to work where I have to run around and sweat the whole time sucks even more, as it turns out.

2) Epass also sucks, as they are trying very hard to completely screw me over financially, and it took me an hour on the phone today to only barely keep that from happening. Ughhhhh. So glad I found a non-toll road route to work that only takes an extra 5 minutes, because seriously, so fucking sick of tolls. And money. Or, well, not having money.

3) No matter how hard I try to catch up on tv, I still always seem to be way behind.

4) Diablo 3 is freaking AWESOME!!!! I am completely in love with this game as of right now. You know, because I needed another game to lose my soul to >.>
athra: ([Fringe] gene pool)
So, my dad was awesome enough to add me back to his various insurances at the start of this year. I've been trying to take advantage of that fact, which led me to the dentist. You guys, I have not seen a dentist in eight years -- do not let this happen to you! I feel like I have been living at the dentist the last couple weeks.

I just got home from my third appointment (two more to go!) and the right side of my mouth is extremely numb. It turns out that I require a lot of their numbing shit to work for me; like, they started with numbing my cheek so that they could inject the whatever into it, then they had to inject the other side too because apparently I have an extra nerve (wtf), and then they had to inject them again because it didn't numb it enough to start, and then halfway through they had to stop and put a numbing solution on my tooth directly because it didn't take enough. Seriously, so much shit!

The outcome though, is that the entire right side of my face cannot feel a thing. Like, I got home and immediately got water and I cannot even feel the cold of the water if I swish it around in my mouth. So weird!

Also my cheek and chin feel like they're about the size of a basketball. ALSO this all resulted in half of my tongue being numb and feeling swollen as well. Fun times! (I am not actually swollen -- it looks perfectly normal when I look in the mirror. Just feels soooo strange.)

I have to say though, I'm actually pretty lucky in my dentist. I've been seeing the same people since I was a little kid, it's mostly all the same people in the office, they are super nice, and they have freaky good memories, because they remember things about me and my childhood that have nothing to do with my dental history and it freaks me out. More importantly than that, though, they are competent and not scary and never make anything hurt, which is pleasant.

And I will never go eight years without seeing them again, because holy shit, five appointments to fix this shit. I mean, I know I just got finished saying I like these people, but I don't like them that much.
athra: ([Firefly] thrilling heroics)
So, I made that blog that I was talking about making in my last post. After some discussion with [livejournal.com profile] imthelobster, I didn't actually buy a domain, but am just hosting it on Wordpress for the moment. If I actually keep up with it, I'll get the domain later (I did settle on a name I would want for it, anyway) and just figure out how to integrate Wordpress into it, which should be loads of fun! Anyway, it's here if you're interested.

idk, but to be honest even if no one reads it ever, I think it's good for me. It's a small step, but it's a step towards feeling creative again. I haven't felt that way in a long time, and I miss it.

Which, on that note, I actually wrote something the other morning. Fictional something, I mean. It's short, incomplete, probably wildly stupid, and full of ashley-and-lisa-have-brains-on-crack, BUT none of that is the point. The point is that I wrote something, and it felt good. I might even continue to work on it, even if [livejournal.com profile] barbed_whispers is the only one who would find it interesting hahaha.

I've been taking a step back from playing WoW for the last week, two weeks, or so. I'm not quitting the game entirely by any means, but just separating myself from it a little bit. I'll be honest, it mostly started because of [livejournal.com profile] imthelobster, but it has been really good for me, I think. I've been feeling a lot better about life in general for the last couple weeks. To be clear, I don't think that WoW was causing my depression, but I do believe now that it was enabling it to some extent. I've changed a few other things, too, so it's not the only fix, but it's been one of them, and yeah, it's been good. I feel a bit more a part of the world than I have in a while, which is strange, but nice.

Work has been better, too. I can't decide if it's better because I've been more relaxed and happy, or if I'm more relaxed and happy partly because it's better. I guess it doesn't really matter which one, because the point is, both things are true! I still hate the hours, a lot, but at least I'm not hating the job itself nearly as much, which is a huge step up, so I'll take it.

On a final note: one other change that has been happening is the way that I eat (again, mostly facilitated by [livejournal.com profile] imthelobster). It's not a diet, really, just a watching portions / type of food you eat, kind of a thing. I'm still eating the things I like, just being a bit smarter about it. I still have a long way to go in that regard, since I tend to have very little willpower when it comes to food (or most anything, if I'm being honest), BUT small steps. And I have lost about 5 pounds or so, so yay for that!
athra: ([HIMYM] suit up!)
I feel like such crap today. I don't really know how that happened. Yesterday I was fine, and today when I woke up I was so dizzy I felt like I was going to fall every time I tried to stand, so I called out of work and went back to bed for a while, and then stayed in bed hours after I woke up again just reading.

I couldn't stand just laying in bed anymore, though, so now I'm up and my head is hurting and my neck is all ache-y (which may just be from staying in bed so long and not from any sickness, I dunno.) It's weird though... I don't feel sick in the traditional sense, just like a lot of crap.

Ugh, it still sucks though.

okay. end whining.
athra: ([Death Note] stop being a hoe)
I feel like my head is going to explode and send gross-ness all over the place. :(
athra: ([misc] ignore these four words)
bleeeeeegh.




and in better news, I leave for Vegas in the morning.
athra: ([H&C] Ayu breaking)
Yesterday morning I woke up feeling fine. Which was amazing. First time in about a week that I woke up completely able to breathe and feeling well and whatever. Of course, I had taken Nyquil the night before, which is sometimes magical, but still, I was excited.

So last night, I didn't take anything before bed. Partly because I was hoping I wouldn't have to, and partly because I don't actually have any Nyquil left. I woke up this morning with a raging headache and not able to breathe, again.

Why does the world hate me?
athra: ([HP] Moony's True Loves)
Sending some love out to [livejournal.com profile] marsterslady, who is a total and complete sweetheart. Thank you. <333

My week has been... less than stellar. Mostly because I've been sick since... Sunday? Maybe late Saturday. I don't remember. It was really bad on Monday, and I had to leave work early. Like... I could barely stand. I'm feeling better today, thank god, but yeah. It probably has something to do with the nyquil I used to knock myself out. heh.

Some random things going on to upset me, too. Not really wishing to discuss it, though, since it's pretty much all over with now, and I'm really sick of getting upset over things, sooo yeah.

ANYWAY. This here is mostly for the benefit of [livejournal.com profile] sky_was_green, who I'm sure won't be too surprised:

Lisa: who'd you kill for the heart?
i hope it was someone good...
Ashley: Aren.
Lisa: ...
she had a heart?
Ashley: well, why did you think it looked so funny?
Lisa: hahaha


She does make such a nice scapegoat. :)

I probably had other things to talk about, but I don't really feel like it, so whatever.

Happy VDay everyone!
athra: ([misc] boo whore)
bitching about being sick. )

... I really hope I feel better soon. Come on, Dayquil/Nyquil, do your thing.
[And? I've been asleep before midnight two nights in a row now, which is just weird.]
athra: (carve into me  [me])
medicine made me sleepy. and now a little bit giddy. heehee.

hi. :)

i ain't feelin' nothin' right now.

don't talk to me about that last sentence.

it wasn't me.

... really.

i'm going back to bed now.

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